OK, so a good friend of mine, AKA @followmyriam on Twitter, gave a link, written by Diana Adams for Bit Rebels, to her hubby for the upcoming football season. I read it, and said, “OH HELLLLL NO!” I thought to myself that if only I had a blog of my own to respond to this travesty… wait a tick.
So here’s my response to the post.
1. Let her know what’s in it for her. Relationships are about compromise. If you want her to watch football on TV with you, then promise to watch American Idol (or whatever show she likes) with her even though you hate it. If you expect her to have a good attitude while watching football, then you must reciprocate. – WRONG! First off watching football with him was probably your idea, not his. That in itself is a compromise. That’s you wanting to share in his interests. Which is great, but don;t make it seem like you’re doing him a favor and expect something in return. Do because you want to do.
2. Don’t be a selfish poop. If you buy beer to watch during the game, buy her favorite wine. If you invite some guys over, let her invite some girlfriends over. If you want her to make you yummy homemade snacks, buy her a box of chocolates and some scented candles. Be nice and think ahead. – WRONG! First off, I pay this week, you pay next week. Second, this isn’t turning in to a tea party. All you and your friends are gonna do is chatter up a storm and not let him hear the game. Here’s a compromise, let him invite hi buddies over and you go out with the girls. And here’s one for the ladies, if he can’t arrange his own snacks, let him starve. You’re his wife, not his wench.
3. Talk to her about something other than sports during the commercials. Let’s face it; unless it’s the Super Bowl, the commercials aren’t worth watching anyway. Instead, turn the volume down and pay attention to your girlfriend/wife during that time. That gives her your undivided attention during about 15 – 20 minutes of every hour of the game. – Just another way to make everything about YOU. Part of watching the game is enjoying the commercials. You might not see the point unless it’s the Superbowl, but he might. I’m sure he gives you attention plenty of times, but it doesn’t interfere with anything he likes so it doesn’t mean anything to you. Men are NOT women, we don’t have the need to be involved in everything you do, or need for you to be involved in everything we do. It is nice to share, but not EVERYTHING.
4. We have a huge dry erase board in our house where we write events that are scheduled. If you want her to watch football with you on Sundays, block out the time on the schedule in advance or else you may find that she has made plans for the two of you on that day. WRONG! You know that football is every Sunday. If you plan something, that’s devious on your part. You know very well that you EXPECT him to be aware of your things so do the same for him. You expect us to remember that Saturday mornings you go shopping with mom, then you remember that Sundays are football days.
5. Be very patient with her when she asks questions about the game. Even as a woman who loves football, I get annoyed when I hear other women ask, “How many points for a touchdown?” If I get frustrated with that, I can only imagine how men feel. However, this is all about long term strategy, right? If you patiently answer her questions, she will become more interested in the game. – OK, I kind of agree here. If she really is making an effort to learn, then be patient. You didn’t know it all the first game you watched. But ladies, also be aware that a good part of the game is hearing the commentary. We learn things we didn’t know through the announcers.
6. Say something to relate to what she is interested in, for example, if you are watching the New Orleans Saints (Reggie Bush), say, “Hey, that’s the guy who used to date Kim Kardashian.” – WRONG! The last thing he wants to do is talk celebrity gossip during a game. If that’s what you’re looking for, get your laptop during the game and Google some of the players or the team and see if any of the hits are from TMZ.
7. To get her warmed up (no pun intended) to the idea of enjoying sports, start off by giving her someone to drool over (you aren’t the only one with a wandering eye). David Beckham is a perfect example. Let her watch him on the big screen for a while and she’ll be more receptive to watching football. OH HELLLL NO! You know very well that us using another woman as motivation to do something with you is a HUGE no-no. And coming from an overweight, ugly guy, I can tell you that the last thing my ego needs, especially during one of my few testosterone treatments, is you drooling over some guy on TV. Like you would want us to look forward to going with shopping for clothes because we gawked at a Victoria’s Secret catalog.
8. Buy her a team jersey or hat. Women love gifts and this will make the whole experience all the more positive for her. It’s a simple thing you can do to bring a lot of fun to the game. – OK, I like this one. It shows unity and support. I think guys will appreciate this one.
9. Make sure she is comfortable. This is one that is a big deal to me. For some reason, sitting in a chair to watch sports is not nearly as cozy as pulling out the sofa bed, throwing on a ton of fluffy pillows and adding a big bowl of popcorn. Feel the difference? These little things really matter. – Another pretty good idea. But do you have to call them “fluffy” pillows? And please do not get all bothered if he does turn down the volume during a commercial, but wants to take advantage of the prone positioning. Hey, you’re thinking I want him to buy me my wine and jersey, he’s thinking… “mmmmm bed”. Sorry, but facts are facts.
10. Last but not least, if all else fails, I have something for you to keep in your back pocket that will always guarantee you that she will watch sports with a smile on her face. In our house, we call this the “coupon system.” I guarantee you that there is something that she really wants from you. It could be a night out with her girlfriends, a one-hour long foot rub, an uninterrupted bubble bath, a trip to her parent’s house – whatever it may be, give her a coupon for that in exchange for her watching the game with you. Take a piece of paper and make her an actual coupon, with no expiration date, that she can redeem whenever she wants. Don’t tell my husband that I love football, because I use this to my advantage to get really cool coupons all the time. – WRONG! Like I said, if you’re gonna watch, then watch. This kind of deception would not be tolerated by most women, if it was the other way around, so why do you want us to do it. If he brings you home flowers, but you find out it’s ONLY because he wants to make up for something stupid he just did, the first thing out your mouth will be, “Why only when you did something? Why can’t you do this for no reason? Why can’t you just do cause you love me?
Should your man be more open to compromise and sharing? ABSOLUTELY! But the fact of the matter is, if he is that kind of guy he’s doing it already. And if he isn’t that kind of guy, he probably wont change. And sorry darling, but YOU picked him. I am all for sharing and compromise, but as this list sheds some light on, women are manipulators. You want more quality time? Ask. You want to share our pleasures? Ask. Like I said, yes your man should want to these things on his own. But expecting it is unrealistic. demanding it will not guarantee sincerity. And being devious in your methods will come back to bite you in the butt. How ever nice that butt may be. 
–
AC
P.P.
Ms Adams comes off a little manipulative in this post, but I think it’s mostly tongue in cheek. I get the feeling that she is a caring and kind person. I hope that’s the case. Very well written, even if I don’t agree.
